Denison, Timothy

A veteran of the world of divorce once said, "There's usually four people in a divorce case-the husband, the wife, and their lawyers. It only takes one jerk to mess it up for everybody."

Here's what should be happening in a divorce from day one:

1. Communication about goals, expectations and the range of realistic possibilities;
2. Gathering the information and records necessary for completion of the case;
3. An honest attempt to resolve the case.

Children's issues are the most important aspect of any case, and that turns on the specifics of each case. If settlement can't be reached, it means a trial in court where the conclusions of only one person count-the judge. The judge's main interest in your case is what's best for the children. Don't involve them in your spousal problems.

A final observation-no matter what size the marital estate is-it is a finite amount and the sooner you get rid of the lawyers and the courts-the more there is to keep for the parties. Never lose sight of that reality.